You are not quite sure how you got yourself into the affair, and even less sure about how to end an affair. You love your paramour but hate the sneaking and cheating. You vacillate between ending the affair and giving yourself totally to it. You feel intense emotions for your lover, but even as you tell yourself, or your lover, that everything is going to be wonderful, deep within a small voice says that it will not be. When together with your lover, you feel an amazing blending of ecstasy and peace. When alone, you feel guilt-ridden. Sadness and shame surface sporadically because you have not defeated your feelings of guilt about what you are doing. Instead, your own morality and integrity have tunneled deep inside you to war with your soul. Your conscience wants to end the affair while your heart finds incredible fulfillment in the illicit relationship. Earlier you tried ending the affair a few times, but each time your willpower faded and your emotions drug you back. You felt responsible for your lover; you feared that they would be decimated, or get sick, or lose everything if you went away.